Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Five Reasons to get married and Five Reasons not to get married

To Marry or...

Getting married is once in a lifetime decision for many people. When people wish to get married, invariably all of them expect a full life together. Very few would think of marriage as a short-term exercise. Hence, it is very much necessary that all aspects of a life together be fully analyzed before tying the knot. Usually men and women tend to have different perspectives about married life. It would be better to have open and honest discussion to sort out the possible future irritants or at least understand them so that some sort of compromise could be arrived at.
The reasons that a man looks at while desiring to marry her are innumerous. However, a few of them top the list in order of priority. For most men, the need of a woman in life is necessitated by the motherly love that he had received in his early life. He needs a woman who can show him the same love and who could fulfill his physical and emotional needs. That is why many men look for the same qualities in a woman that their mothers possess. The second reason is to have a lifetime companion, who can share his desires and needs. The third reason is love. When a man feels that he loves a particular woman, he wants to own her fully. This might appear to be a wrong reason but that is the way humans are made. Everybody likes to possess what he or she desires and human relationships are no different. In some cases, the man might marry a woman because she has become pregnant and is carrying his child. Certain men wish to marry a woman who is having the same career as his, so that they would be able to adapt to each other better. It is quite usual for a doctor to marry a doctor and a lawyer to marry a lawyer. They would be able to understand the work pattern and the workload of each other. However, few others are very particular that the woman is having a different profession, so that their interests do not clash. This choice depends on the outlook of the individual.
In short men marry women for the following main reasons.
The wish to continue the motherly love received in childhood.
Desire to have a lifetime companion.
The love the man has for the woman.
The woman having become pregnant by him.
To have a woman who has a similar career for easier adaptability.
Women also marry men for nearly the same reasons. However, one important reason that women have in marriage is to escape from parents that they do not like or from a parent who is abusive. Sometimes, men also marry for this reason but the number is much lesser than women. So the reasons for a woman marrying a man can be enumerated as follows.
Wish to escape from parents.
Desire to have a lifetime companion.
Love for the man.
Having become pregnant by the man.
To have a man having a similar career for easier adaptability.
The reasons for getting married are quite obvious. On the other hand, the reasons for not getting married are much more complicated. In fact, it would be difficult to mention reasons for not getting married. However, the reasons for a marriage becoming a failure could be discussed with more ease. There are several jokes about marriage but nearly all of them are at the expense of the woman. There should be some strong reasons for that. Probably, the main reasons are the innumerable needs that women have that drain the purse of a man and the continuous nagging that women indulge in after marriage. One joke says that a successful man is one who can make more money than his wife spends but a successful woman is one who finds such a man. Many women tend to nag the men too much after marriage. They try to compare their husbands with other men who are more successful in life, which is resented by the husbands. Wives also tend to give free advice to men as to what they should and should not do, which is also not liked by many men.
Infidelity is one more reason that could harm the institution of marriage. Both men and women, who are quite possessive, would be repelled when they come to know about extra-marital relationships, leading to separation. Physical incompatibility is the cause for break-up in several cases. Even loss of interest in sexual relationship after some time could lead to a break-up of the marriage. Finally, the conflict in tastes and interests that appeared insignificant before the marriage starts to take a larger picture in married life. Disagreements increase, resulting in final separation.
Even though it would look absurd if we list reasons for not getting married, we could list the reasons that break-up marriage.
Over-spending by the wife and living beyond the man?s income
Continuous nagging, comparing the man to others more successful, and giving unwarranted advice
Infidelity
Physical incompatibility or sharp decrease in sexual interest
Conflict in tastes and interests leading to disagreements and fight

Monday, August 18, 2008

Feel your anger and frustration, sadness or feelings of neediness melt away.

When you feel you need relationship improvement, or you see a situation leading one or both of you to say or do something you will later regret, simply ask yourself the easy-to-learn and easy-to-remember questions that make up The Sedona Method. When you do, you will feel the tightness leaving your stomach, shoulders and chest. In its place, you will feel peace, relaxation and love. You will no longer have to worry about small disputes turning into longstanding misunderstandings. You will feel more relaxed, more capable of communicating easily to your partner whatever feelings you have. This, in turn, will allow your partner to do the same. The noise of your mind will subside, and you will have the peace of mind to handle and master any life situation.

Relationship Improvement - Learn How to Repair a Relationship using The nugha Method

Relationships are not easy; in fact they require much dedication and effort to be successful. It’s no surprise then that 50% of all first marriages, 70% of second marriages, and 90% of subsequent marriages will end up in divorce. (Option Institute, 2007)
Even in happy marriages, more than 80% of the time, it is the wife who raises marital issues while the husband tries to avoid discussing them. (Option Institute, 2007)
Are you feeling misunderstood or taken advantage of in your relationships?
Have you ever felt blocked from experiencing or expressing the love you feel for those you care most about?
Do you have a fear that your significant other is being unfaithful or untruthful or just doesn’t care?
Does it seem like you make bad choices in relationships?
Do you find that the honeymoon is over in your relationship or that it never really began?
Does this sound familiar? If you have ever felt like this, you are not alone—and there is real and lasting help in the form of The Sedona Method. The nugha Method is a powerful tool for improving all your relationships.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I'd Rather Have Sex With My Cheating Ex Than With My Devoted Boyfriend

What is wrong with me?? I have been searching for a sweet, wonderful guy. Along the way, I met someone that I adored, but I found out that he was sleeping with someone else. I confronted him and told him that I had to be the only one. He said he wasn't ready or willing to settle down with one person. So, I continued my search and met Mr. Wonderful. He adores me, is ready to propose, but I have a problem--our sex life is not good, and I find myself dreaming about Mr. Two-Timer, who was great in bed. What's worse, Mr. Two-Timer, who couldn't commit, now has a committed relationship with the other woman.
I'm still jealous and feeling hurt over him, while I've got this wonderful guy who loves me and wants to commit. I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me? Can sex, or boring sex, cloud one’s judgment this much??
Lisa
Dear Lisa,
Isn’t it a shame there isn’t a correlation between “nice” and “great-in-bed”?
(Millions of men who have slept with hot crazy women are nodding right now.)
The truth is that attraction and devotion are two things that CAN go together but don’t INHERENTLY go together. In fact, it would probably be more accurate to state that attraction and devotion are at opposite poles.
(Millions of women who have gone out with non-committal bad boys are nodding right now.)
So what’s a nice girl who wants a nice guy with awesome bedroom skills to do?
Well, as a dating coach who tries to train all of his clients to become their OWN dating coach, here’s what I’d suggest: Look at the things you cannot change.
Mr. Two-Timer is a two-timer. It doesn’t matter if you initially adored him – he was SLEEPING with someone else, which instantly disqualifies him for his free gift from the Boyfriend-of-the-Month Club. Good riddance.
Mr. Two-Timer has another 120lbs of baggage – his new girlfriend. Don’t get too upset. She’ll learn his nickname soon enough. Although maybe not until a few years into their marriage. Be glad that he’s her problem, not yours.
Oh, but then there’s the sex thing. Why does sex always have to get in the way of such beautiful friendships?
(Millions of women who want to marry their gay best friends are nodding right now.)
Thankfully, sex is something that can change, especially if the parties involved are motivated to change. If you don’t believe me, consider what you know about sex now as compared with when you were say, 16. Have you learned a thing or two? I sure hope so.
Where things get sticky (not literally) is in trying to finesse HOW to get Mr. Devoted to WANT to change. Does he have any idea that you’re dissatisfied with your love life? Have you been faking your way through the past year? If so, it’s going to come as quite a shock to this guy that – oops – I’ve been lying to you this entire time.
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I can only imagine if my fiancĂ© suddenly let me know that my mad sex skillz were merely elementary to her. There’d be embarrassment, shame, and a severe loss of confidence. See, that’s the hardest part to fix.
The same way a woman who’s been cheated on will have great difficulty trusting a man if she takes him back, a man who has been told he’s got no game is always going to feel like he’s falling short.
And a guy who feels like he’s falling short is NEVER going to be confident enough to be good in bed. Let’s face it: being good in bed for a man is ALL about confidence. Sure, it helps to be properly equipped, but for the most part, it’s about knowing what you’re doing, playing a dominant role, knowing when to please and be pleased, experimenting, having stamina, and so on.
All of this stuff can improve with practice. But it is not going to improve until you start letting him know what you need. And that’s where you’ve fallen short, Lisa. You’re not wrong for desiring two men in two different ways. But you haven’t given your guy a roadmap to please you – you’re just hoping he’s got his own built-in GPS. Sorry, babe. Doesn’t always work like that.
Instead of telling him what he’s doing wrong, let him know what you’d like. You want to be tied up. You want to use a vibrator. You want him to take you from behind. Whatever. This guy WANTS to please you – all you have to do is show him how. And if that doesn’t take, there’s always Kama Sutra guides and sex therapists.
But it’s clear to me that you’ve got a far better shot of turning Mr. Devoted into Mr. Spank Me Harder than you do of turning Mr. Two-Timer With Another Girlfriend into Mr. Monogamous.
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